Inside secret world of Incels where young men who have never had sex turn to violence and murder

Inside secret world of Incels where young men who have never had sex turn to violence and murder

A 31-year-old man who had never had a romantic relationship has revealed how his life as a romantic recluse led him to write songs praising mass murde

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A 31-year-old man who had never had a romantic relationship has revealed how his life as a romantic recluse led him to write songs praising mass murderer Elliot Rodger, who went on a killing spree in 2014 after reportedly getting frustrated with his status as a virgin.  

James, 31, from County Down, Ireland, opened up about life as an ‘involuntary celibate’ – also known as an ‘incel’, a term describing heterosexual who identifies as being unable to find a romantic partner.

Appearing in new BBC3 series ‘Inside The Secret World Of Incels’, the disturbing documentary delves into one of the darkest corners of the internet, inhabited by involuntary celibates. 

James is just one of the men featured in the documentary, and revealed he was a ‘hugless, kissless, handholdless virgin’ who, at the darkest stage of his life, had contemplated killing himself. 

He said he has now left the ‘incel’ community behind, and is trying to help other young disenfranchised men by opening up about his experiences in YouTube videos.  

James, 31, from County Down, Ireland, revealed he was left contemplating suicide as he fell into a 'dark place' while an incel. He said he has never hugged, kissed or held hands with anyone

James, 31, from County Down, Ireland, revealed he was left contemplating suicide as he fell into a 'dark place' while an incel. He said he has never hugged, kissed or held hands with anyone

James, 31, from County Down, Ireland, revealed he was left contemplating suicide as he fell into a ‘dark place’ while an incel. He said he has never hugged, kissed or held hands with anyone

Many incels are inspired by Elliot Rodger, a mass murderer who shot and stabbed women in Santa Barbara

Many incels are inspired by Elliot Rodger, a mass murderer who shot and stabbed women in Santa Barbara

Many incels are inspired by Elliot Rodger, a mass murderer who shot and stabbed women in Santa Barbara 

James, who goes by the name of Just James online, revealed: ‘Why I’m incel? I’ve never felt I’m good enough for a relationship. 

‘I definitely had opportunities to you know, lose my virginity, I definitely had opportunities to have a girlfriend.’

He added: ‘But I’ve always had social anxieties, I’ve always had paranoia, I’ve always had insecurities that stopped me.’ 

James admitted he had taken steroids in desperate attempt to ‘improve his looks’, saying:’ You’re trying to improve your looks – it’s part of attracting a female, of attracting a mate.’ 

At one stage, James wrote songs about idiolizing the mass murderer Elliot Rodger, who raged online about women rejecting him before going on to kill six people in an attack in California in 2014

At one stage, James wrote songs about idiolizing the mass murderer Elliot Rodger, who raged online about women rejecting him before going on to kill six people in an attack in California in 2014

At one stage, James wrote songs about idiolizing the mass murderer Elliot Rodger, who raged online about women rejecting him before going on to kill six people in an attack in California in 2014

He added: ‘I used to want to be massive. I thought I was too small that’s why I never approached a woman in my life, I thought I wasn’t good enough or up to that standard. I didn’t even bother trying to attract them.’  

‘I used to be lazy, I used to just lay down and rot – that’s what they call it in the incel community. 

‘I would just close myself off from the world because I didn’t like the way I looked. But the more I lay down and rot, the more depressed I got.’

He continued: ‘I did take steroids because I thought that’s what women wanted. So I did it because of women.’  

What is an Incel?

‘Incel’ stands for ‘involuntary celibate’ and is a term used by a certain group of men who blame their inability to form relationships and have sex on women.

Incel groups have been accused of inciting violence and misogyny online and numerous communities and subreddits have been banned over their content. 

A cryptic Facebook message posted by Toronto suspect Alek Minassian just before the incident suggested he was part of an online community angry over their inability to form relationships with the opposite sex.

The now-deleted post saluted Elliot Rodger, a community college student who killed six people and wounded 13 in shooting and stabbing attacks near the University of California, Santa Barbara, in 2014.

In 2014, Elliot Rodger killed six people and wounded 13 in shooting and stabbing attacks near the University of California, Santa Barbara

In 2014, Elliot Rodger killed six people and wounded 13 in shooting and stabbing attacks near the University of California, Santa Barbara

In 2014, Elliot Rodger killed six people and wounded 13 in shooting and stabbing attacks near the University of California, Santa Barbara

Calling Rodger ‘the Supreme Gentleman’, the Facebook post declared: ‘The Incel Rebellion has already begun! We will overthrow all the Chads and Stacys!’

Chads and Stacys are names used in internet forums to denote people with more active sexual lives. 

The reference to the term ‘incel’, meaning involuntarily celibate, was a term used by Rodger in online posts raging at women for rejecting him romantically.

The anti-women sentiment also recalled Canada’s 1989 massacre at the Ecole Polytechnique, an engineering college in Montreal, when 25-year-old Marc Lepine entered a classroom.

He then separated the men from the women, told the men to leave and opened fire, killing 14 women before killing himself. 

In a suicide note, he blamed feminists for ruining his life.

James has now been left with severe acne and extensive scarring across his face, back and chest due to the steroid injections.   

Revealing where his emotional issues may have started, he explained that his parents had had a difficult divorce when he was younger.

He said: ‘I had a troubled childhood, but always the most traumatic moments stick out to you. 

‘It’s just the right combination of the bad things happening to somebody that can turn you into an incel. It’s just a bad combination of things coming together.’

James said he became dedicated in the gym as he wanted to become more attractive to women

James said he became dedicated in the gym as he wanted to become more attractive to women

James said he became dedicated in the gym as he wanted to become more attractive to women 

‘My parents were getting divorced and there was a lot of arguing going on, and I just felt like it was a threatening environment.’

You can blame your past but you have to take personal responsibility as well – even with the cards you have and the experiences you have.’  

James continued: ‘I actually thought to myself last Valentine’s Day that if I didn’t have a girlfriend by this valentines day that I would kill myself.’ 

And he suggested it could be a feeling that a lot of ‘incels’ related to, saying:’ Those feelings of suicide that incels can have – they’re so alone and they can’t relate to people and you just get that hopeless feeling. That hopeless feeling.’

James revealed his song lyrics included words including 'riding through the city like Elliot Rodger, can't stop me now b*****, you ain't no bullet dodger'

James revealed his song lyrics included words including 'riding through the city like Elliot Rodger, can't stop me now b*****, you ain't no bullet dodger'

James revealed his song lyrics included words including ‘riding through the city like Elliot Rodger, can’t stop me now b*****, you ain’t no bullet dodger’ 

James told how he was inspired by Elliot Rodgers, who is believed to have killed six people in Santa Barbara in 2014 because he was frustrated that he was still a virgin at age 22.

Recalling how he joined a movement of incels that idiolised him, James revealed that he used to write songs on song cloud about the mass murderer. These have now been deleted. 

He read out the lyrics, from a notebook, and giggled as he read out: ‘Riding through the city like Elliot Rodger, can’t stop me now b****, you ain’t no bullet dodger.’

He laughed as he added: ‘I was trying to rhyme that for edgy shock value, I was trying to be creative.’

He added that the song continued: ‘Suck on my n*** as I bl** out your guts.’ 

James said he was trying to 'be creative' with the shocking song lyrics, and admitted he had never considered how Elliot Rodger's victims families might feel hearing them

James said he was trying to 'be creative' with the shocking song lyrics, and admitted he had never considered how Elliot Rodger's victims families might feel hearing them

James said he was trying to ‘be creative’ with the shocking song lyrics, and admitted he had never considered how Elliot Rodger’s victims families might feel hearing them 

Explaining it’s for ‘entertainment value’, James appeared shocked when a producer of the documentary challenged him about how the victims of Elliot Rodger’s families might feel upon hearing the song.

He admitted he never even considered them hearing it, but compared it to violence in television programmes like Game of Thrones.  

He added: ‘There’s a fine line and you have to find that fine line and you can’t really cross it.’   

Now James is a vlogger, who opens up about how he feels, and said that it is allowing him a freedom he never felt before. 

James has since met a girlfriend who has also never kissed or held hands with anybody, and said he looked forward to getting to know her

James has since met a girlfriend who has also never kissed or held hands with anybody, and said he looked forward to getting to know her

James has since met a girlfriend who has also never kissed or held hands with anybody, and said he looked forward to getting to know her

He said:’ I think people could relate to that and now I feel a lot better for opening up about it, venting and getting things off my chest that have been there for years.  

‘I’ve been to that point and I can relate to other people. That’s why I relay my story so I can help other people and help them out of that hole.’ 

Later, he revealed he is now in a relationship for the first time in his life, having met his girlfriend online.   

He said he was ‘really looking forward’ to meeting his girlfriend in real life, revealing: ‘She’s like me. We both have never held hands with anybody or kissed anybody.

He now makes YouTube videos as he attempts to help other 'incels' open up about the troubles in their life

He now makes YouTube videos as he attempts to help other 'incels' open up about the troubles in their life

He now makes YouTube videos as he attempts to help other ‘incels’ open up about the troubles in their life 

‘So that’s great for me because I want to experience everything for the first time with somebody that is also their first time. Because it’s more special and meaningful that way.

‘She feels like my soulmate, my one so I’m hopeful and optimistic that it works out and that we have a future together.

‘It’s a chance to break free from inceldom, it’s a chance to make a life.’ 

Inside The Secret World Of Incels is on BBC3 from 10am on July 14

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