By Jon Anthony •Posted 16 hours ago•DATING If you’ve been reading a lot of dating articles lately, you may have heard of something known as “n
…no, I do not exaggerate. Most beautiful women have men throwing endless compliments their way, left and right, and let me tell you something – it reeks of desperation.
Most beautiful women already know they’re beautiful, and when a random guy won’t stop showering her in compliments, it makes one thing very clear: he’s a typical “nice guy.”
…and, we all know what happens to nice guys, right? They get thrown in the friend zone. So, rather than being friend zoned, why don’t you take a moment to learn about negging, instead.
What is Negging?
Negging is a term that was started way back when, in the early days of pickup artistry. You may have heard of the book called: “The Game,” by Neil Strauss, no?
That’s where it all started – and for as “nerdy” as the original pickup culture was, often times, they made a lot of good points.
The idea behind a neg, is it’s the exact OPPOSITE of what a “nice guy” would do. Whereas a nice guy showers a girl in endless compliments, a “neg” is a backhanded compliment.
The idea behind a neg is it’s meant to show a girl you aren’t too effected by her. This is otherwise known as being “non-needy.”
…and, since neediness is a huge turn off for women, showing non-neediness will do the exact opposite, and get her to chase you.
How to Use Negging
As I said, a neg is basically a backhanded compliment. Always remember that it’s not meant to be mean. None of the advice we give is meant to be “manipulative” either.
…but, sometimes if a girl is really full of herself, it can be a useful tool to show her that she’s really not as great as she thinks she is.
The best time to use a neg is when you’ve already been talking for a while. Some guys use them as a pickup line, but in my experience, this is a bad idea.
Because a neg is a little bit of a backhanded compliment, some girls can take it very negatively right off the bat. It’s best to establish some rapport first, and then neg her if you wish.
In general, there’s two things you can do with a girl:
- Build Rapport
- Break Rapport
Building rapport is pulling her towards you, while breaking rapport is pushing her away. Both of these are very important if you want to know how to turn a girl on.
Examples of building rapport would be increasing your connection, building commonalities, and generally becoming closer with her.
Breaking rapport, on the other hand, would be pushing her away. Negging is one way you can do this, and funny enough, you can actually make her chase with this.
Often times, the biggest mistake guys make is they’re too easy to get. Women love a good challenge, and when a man is too easy to get, it conveys a lack of backbone.
So, once you’ve build some rapport, you can use a neg to break rapport. She will feel the slight push, and will naturally begin to want to chase you back for your validation.
I know this all sounds great, but I’m sure you’re wondering: “So, what exactly is negging? Can you give me some examples of this to clarify?”
…and that’s exactly what I tend to do.
Here’s a few negging examples to get you started:
- “I like your shirt. Did it shrink in the laundry?”
- “You’re not adventurous enough for me, we’d never get along.”
- “Has anyone ever told you that you look like the girl from The Office?”
All of these are negs, because they’re slight breaks in rapport. The first one implies that her shirt is too small, the second implies she’s not adventurous enough, and the third seems kind of cool, but come on – what beautiful girl wants to look like someone from The Office?
When you spice your conversations up with negs like this, you’ll find that women will be much more eager to chase you. Why? Because you stand out.
Like I said, most girls get compliments like this all the time:
- “Wow, you’re so beautiful.”
- “Oh my God, you’re so pretty.”
- “You look like a model, wow.”
…and while sometimes it’s okay to compliment a girl (if you really mean it), in general, you want to avoid over-complimenting her (especially in the beginning of the interaction).
Where Negging Goes Bad
Naturally, with any break in rapport, some girls are going to be offended. This is actually a good thing, believe it or not.
“How could that ever be a good thing?” someone might ask. I’ll tell you why: it screens out the women who have high narcissistic tendencies.
If a girl is so petty she’s going to get offended over a slight break in rapport, she is extremely high on the narcissism scale, and you do NOT want her in your life.
A narcissistic girl will destroy your life, believe me – and unfortunately, with very hot girls, a lot of them tend to be narcissists sometimes.
Don’t take it personally, though. If a girl does get very offended over a slight neg, she’s not worth your time, and you should count yourself lucky for dodging that bullet.
Negging: The Bottom Line
All in all, negging is a very powerful way to have more interesting conversations with women – if used properly. Remember, use it AFTER you’ve built rapport, not before.
On the rare occasion that a girl does get overly offended from a slight neg, it’s probably a good sign that she’s high on the narcissism scale, and might even have NPD.
Overall, if you use negs the right way, girls will begin to feel the push, and many of them will naturally begin to chase you back for validation.
When this happens, don’t freak out, don’t immediately start chasing her back, and most importantly keep your cool. She’ll be begging for your number in no time.